We began the “Christian Catfish Award” last week to award the pettiest word said or cruelest deed done in the name of Christ. A fish is one symbol of the Christian faith, and a catfish is bottom feeding scum sucker. Together they make up the name of the coveted “Christian Catfish” award given to the person or group who brings the most shame to the Christian faith.
Our first award went to Ferry Falwell’s Liberty University for their addition of a new program to train Christian students to work on killer drones. But other nominees have been pouring in.
David Rackley has nominated prophet Cindy Jacobs for saying that native Americans need to repent of their ancestor’s pagan ways:
“If you have in your bloodline any animus, any Native American blood, for instance — not all Native Americans worshiped the serpent or crocodile, many did — but you might want to renounce that and repent for the generational iniquity,” Jacobs says. “If you are — perhaps you’re Mexican and you might have indigenous blood in you or Mayan blood — those who have Aztec blood in any way, you need to repent for the sin of animism before you begin to deal with this spirit.”
Another fine candidate is Republican Rep. Mike Conaway of Texas who said that atheists should not be allowed to serve as chaplains in the military. As Brother Mike said:
“You can’t use the word “chaplain” with atheists because they don’t believe anything. They don’t believe in a faith[…] I can’t imagine an atheist accompanying a notification team as they go into some family’s home to let them have the worst news of their life, and this guy say ‘You know, you’re it– that’s it, your son’s ju — worms, I mean, worm food.”
Finally, David Barton has gone on record that one cannot be a Christian and drink Starbucks coffee since that company supports gay rights.
“There’s no way a Christian can help support what is attacking God. I’m sorry, you’ve got to find some other coffee to drink. You can’t drink Starbucks and be Biblically correct on this thing. It’s just a real simple principle.”
Well you call the shot. Which of these fine candidate’s is most deserving of the prestigious “Christian Catfish Award?”
a. Native Americans need to repent for their ancestor’s religion.
b. Atheist chaplains would bring nihilistic despair to the grieving.
c. Starbucks is the steamed latte of Sodom, the gingerbread mocha of Gomorrah.
I will tally your votes and announce our winner later in the week.