Are you tired of non-judgmental people throwing the Sermon on the Mount in your face? Are you tired of people saying just because you love Jesus that you shouldn’t be able to be hateful to homosexuals and welfare mothers? Are you pro-life but against neo-natal care for the poor? Do you believe lazy no good parents should be punished by having their children suffer the consequences of malnourishment and poor education? Do anti-war sermons make you want to pull out your concealed weapon and send another hippy preacher to hell where he can explain his sissy ways to Osama bin Laden and the other liberals?
If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, have we got the group for you. “Cannibals for Christ” is a not for profit, non denominal movement that cuts and pastes the heavily edited words of Jesus onto the God inspired message of Ayn Rand. Kneel before a red white and blue cross and listen to our 9-11 hymns as the tears stream down your face.
It is a hard time to be a Christian. We will soon be forced to choose between a Muslim and a Mormon for President. It is time to take our nation back and give it to the original Americans. No, I’m not talking about the Native Americans. I’m talking about the people that founded this country. No I’m not talking about the Deists, or the Quakers, or the Episcopals. I’m talking about the real founders of the country. And by “real” I mean the ones who agree with us.
So if you’re tired of other people’s inalienable rights getting in the way of your God given right to tell everyone else how to live, give us a call at Cannibals for Christ. Help us take a bite out of sin.