When I was young, I was a bit thin-skinned about personal criticism. I believed people could “see through” me and so I took criticism very personally.
Eventually, I realized that most people are so wrapped up in their own lives they aren’t really perceiving me at all. This realization gave greater peace and compassion. It also convinced me that I am usually doing the same thing when I dislike others.
It is very hard to see through the disguised mirror images we project onto the world. When people dislike us and say cruel things about us, it is an indicator that they are seeing their own projections, not our own humanity. Anyone who really sees us will have some compassion for our humanity even when we are wrong. We can learn from the criticisms of others, but we should not imagine they are looking into our souls.
Usually, a critical person isn’t really dealing with us at all. They are trapped in their own pain and are dealing with their own issues through us. And if a person doesn’t really like themselves it is vain to think they will, or even can, approve of us.
At some point in my life I realized, if I was going to be an authentic person and challenge the superstitions and cruelties within and around me, I needed to get better at dealing with people who don’t like me just because I am making them uncomfortable.
Eventually, I realized I must love people enough to risk losing their approval.