The other day I went into a sandwich shop in Round Rock. Before I could find a seat, the manager asked calmly, “Is this the day we are supposed to be bombed?” I had no idea what he was talking about. He continued, “Is this the day Korea is supposed to shoot the missile toward us?”

As we all know, America is surrounded by enemies. This basic fact requires huge expenditures on weaponry and a constant ability to spot the new Hitler in town. Now that Saddam Hitler, Hugo Hitler, Fidel Hitler and Kaddafi Hitler are no longer a threat, we need to learn about the new Hitler, which is a certain North Korean dictator named Kim. Hitler Kim is yet another madman who wants to kill us for no reason.

Now to follow my reasoning it will be important, as always, not to know the history of our enemies. So please forget the US invasion of Korea in 1945, dividing it into two nations, blocking national elections and killing perhaps 15-20% of the population along the way. Those people have no reason to hate us.

And it will be important to forget that South Korea has nuclear weapons provided by the US pointed at the North. Don’t think about our own provocative war maneuvers and spy planes and such. Those people are just power hungry.

If you will forget all of that history and just focus on Kim’s response, you can clearly see that he is crazy, and that we need to empty even more money down the rabbit hole of the American war industry. After all, there is a new Hitler on the block.