jimrigby.org

I am spending Friday and Saturday in Kerrville for a regional meeting of the church known as a Presbytery meeting.  At this meeting, as at most Presbytery meetings, I am remembering all I love and hate about serving the church. And I am regressing to that immature ten year old version of myself that sat sulking in the pews wondering how adults had reduced the search for meaning to such dull drivel.

We Presbyterians may not do much, but we keep great records, which means our meetings can be consumed with going over the notes of meetings that weren’t really necessary in the first place.  Presbyterians are governed by a kind of democracy, which is wonderful, but also opens the door for a level of strangeness hard to find outside organized religion. Our Presbytery seems to be in a bit of a lull right now, and the leadership has tried to stimulate us by what I call “Christian cheerleading.”

“Christian cheerleading” usually means taking on the style of black Baptist church as best as can be done by people who cannot feel from their neck down.

So our leaders are saying stock phrases and our job is to respond as dutiful parrots:

Leader: “Does Polly wanteth a cracker?”

People: “Verily, she doth.”

Leader: “No, I mean does she really want a cracker.”

People: “As a hart longeth for water, so doth Polly want a cracker.”

And then comes the religious filler. Nonsense words like “Amen” are used as semantic superglue that allows speakers a moment to think of their next line and, if enough such religious words are put back to back, it almost sounds like the speaker has a point.

“Can I get a “blah, blah?””

As a part of my silent tantrum I count the sexist phrases in worship until they become too numerous. Ultimately, the sexist phrases become like a mist that soaks my psyche. I always leave sexist worship feeling contaminated, violated, like someone has left cigarette butts in my soul.

I also wince as bright young seminarians are peppered with questions by smirking bullies. “I know you are terrified standing in front of all these people but I want the people from my church to see how smart I am, so my question is can you explain the atonement in one minute?”

Such questions come from a place of deep unexamined ignorance. The questioner has never thought honestly enough to realize that there are multiple theories of the atonement and that they contradict one another.

Students stumble before their intellectual inferiors because a knowledge of history, and culture a nd languages leaves one unable to respond to such brutal simplicity. They have yet to learn that the knowing smirk of their inquisitors is based on ignorance of the complexity and ambiguity of the text.

But then, in the middle of my pouting, I hear my denomination advocate for immigrants. I see them responding to disasters. I see their genuine concern for children. I see people who genuinely love one another sneaking off from the meeting to visit and explore how the other is really doing. At some point in the meeting I always say to myself, “at least these people are trying to do community and are trying to help our world.

There is an old preacher joke about the church being like Noah’s Ark, and if it weren’t for the rain outside, one couldn’t stand the smell inside. So I get ready for the second day of Presbytery resolving to leave my sulking teenager home.

This year Santa won’t just come down the chimney. If you are a non-Christian living in Texas, Santa may be coming right down your throat.

Today Gov. Perry signed House Bill 308 which “allows public school students and staff to use traditional holiday greetings and display religious scenes and symbols on school property.

“I’m proud we are standing up for religious freedom in our state,” Gov. Perry said. “Freedom of religion doesn’t mean freedom from religion, and people of faith often feel like they can’t express that faith publicly. HB 308 works to address that by ensuring that people of all faiths are free to use traditional holiday greetings, and display religious scenes and symbols, even on school property. It ensures freedom of expression where, for many students, teachers and administrators, it’s most important.”

The author of the bill, Rep. Bohac came up with the idea when he went to pick up his 6 year old at school and didn’t see enough Christmas bling. He had had enough and decided to pass a law. The law is touted as defending “religious freedom.” So, theoretically, the bill will equally allow Hindus to display pictures of say, Ganesh, Muslims to advocate for say, sharia law, Satanists to mount pictures of the Lord of Darkness, Pagans to dance and sing there in the school, and atheists to refute belief in God on the same bulletin boards and PA systems that Christians celebrate Christmas.

Can anyone guess what would happen if other religions demanded equal time in a Texas public school? Not for nothing was the bill called “the Merry Christmas Bill.” Unfortunately, in Texas, “religious freedom” is generally defined as the right of Christians to invade the public sphere, but also to war against sharia law, abortion and atheists as military chaplains. I predict all hell will break loose if other religions actually try to get equal billing.

So Texans are in the ironic position of having Republican lawmakers forcing us to “don we now our gay apparel.”

Amy was arguing with her father about whether scripture is true or just mythological.  Rev. Clovis Jones argued that scripture is true, she maintained that it is nothing but fairy tales. They decided to put Texas Buddha on the spot. Amy called TB on the phone and said, “So, who do you think is right? Dad says scripture is true, and I say it is fairy tale.”

TB laughed. “Truths of the heart can only be taught with fairy tales as you call them. There are truths we can sing but not say.

“Some scripture is like the song children sing so they can skip rope together. The secret isn’t only in the song but also in the singing. Good religion is the song and dance we do together to wake up to our one world. Bad religion is the song and dance we do to make special claims upon that world for our selves or our group.

“I once heard of a farmer who had three lazy children. Because he was dying, he feared they would not survive with their lackluster commitment to hard work. Just as he was dying, he hoarsely whispered that gold was buried in the field and they had only to dig to find it. But he said they could only find the treasure if they worked together.

“As soon as his funeral was over the three children went out to the field and began to dig, each hoping to find the treasure before the others so he or she could keep it and not have to share. They dug all through the summer looking for the gold, but finally gave up as summer came to a close.

“That year it was easy to plant seed because they had dug up the field so thoroughly. They brought in more corn than ever. It was only when they cashed in their unprecedented yield at market that they realized the truth of their father’s parable. There was gold in the field and they could only claim it if they worked together.”

There is no question the pro-life position is easier to defend if you dismiss the moral complexity a woman faces from which men are biologically, though not ethically, exempt.

Pro-life lawmakers have long made incredible claims about rape and pregnancy. They have claimed, for example, that a woman’s body has a natural defense against getting pregnant after a rape. One classic example of this view was made in 1988 by Penn. state rep. Stephen Freind:

“The odds that a woman who is raped will get pregnant are “one in millions and millions and millions.”

When women are in trauma, Freind said, their bodies “secrete a certain secretion” that kills sperm.

It’s understandable. These pro-life men cannot be honest about the complexity of a woman’s life without recognizing that she alone is competent to make the decision whether and when to continue a pregnancy.

This week Rep. Trent Franks of Arizona introduced a bill that would ban all abortions after 20 weeks. His argument against a exception for rape?

The incidence of rape resulting in pregnancy are very low. But when you make that exception, there’s usually a requirement to report the rape within 48 hours. And in this case that’s impossible because this is in the sixth month of gestation. And that’s what completely negates and vitiates the purpose of such an amendment.

Okay, so let me get this straight. So he is saying that because a woman who is raped cannot know until later whether she is pregnant she should lose all say in what happens to her life as a result of a resulting pregnancy?

How I wish I could sit every pro-life male down and force him to listen to women long enough to realize they live in the complicated and dangerous real world, not in the simplistic landscape he has painted in his own little mind.

Learn more:

http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2013/06/trent-franks-abortion-rape-exception

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444358404577605292434990750.html

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/08/a-canard-that-will-not-die-legitimate-rape-doesnt-cause-pregnancy/261303/

I’m not sure what it means, but a study out of Baylor University claims that those who self identify as “spiritual but not religious” are more likely to commit property crimes than either religious people or atheists.

The statistics broke down thusly:

Some days, reading the news of our poor sick nation is like reading a parable about a poor idiot giant cutting off pieces of himself to ward off shadows until he is no more. News that NSA has been spying on American citizens is perhaps not as chilling as the realization that oversight of our nation’s deepest secrets has been privatized. How long can a nation last when it trusts mercenaries to watch over it’s deepest secrets? How long before the mercenaries standing guard over the nation’s main artery are given a better offer? Are we like Rome in it’s last days with no one thinking to ask, “Who is watching the watchers?”

And still, no one sees this as the inevitable end game of unfettered capitalism. In a nation where pursuit of profit is the highest value, at some point, everything is for sale.

http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2013/06/11-1

So we are to believe that a nation that can go to Mars and secretly monitor billions of our phone messages cannot figure a way to eliminate welfare cheating without cutting benefits to those who need it most?

Congress has decided to cut $4.1 billion dollars from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP). The cuts were targeted at a program called “heat and eat” aimed primarily at helping seniors and those with disabilities. There is no question that welfare cheating exists, but if correcting that problem were the true goal of Congress, they would have found other to tighten oversight, not cut actual benefits. It seems instead that our nation’s wealthiest have agreed to untether themselves from any responsibility for the poor, even when those poor are children.

Last month Congress cut $20.5 billion from SNAP. Representative Paul Ryan wants to cut $135 billion at at time when more Americans need food stamps than ever before.

N.B. Only 26 Democrats voted against the cuts.

http://www.thenation.com/blog/174753/sword-drops-food-stamps

America has a deep abiding faith in military violence. Even American liberals usually believe, when there is trouble in the world, unilateral violent intervention is our only real option. “Well, we need to do something!” is almost a universal mantra. Consequently, our foreign policy statements sound more like WWE Wrestling commercials than sane balanced analysis. When we cast the world into heroes and villians, violence is never far behind. As we consider blundering into the Syrian conflict, for once, we might consider who our allies would be in that struggle.

Recently, a Syrian rebel leader was filmed cutting out and eating the heart of a Syrian soldier. A 15 year old boy was executed for making atheistic statements after being kidnapped by rebels and tortured for 24 hours. He was shot in front of his parents. Some of the rebel leaders have ties to Al Qaeda, who we are still fighting elsewhere in the world. To spend trillions of dollars to rid the world of a terrorist organization and then, at the same time, to side with them on a different battle front cannot possibly be consistant policy.

Lasting peace requires an infrastructure of global co-operation. It would be very nice to rid the world of the Syrian dictator Assad, but international pressure feels like a rubber sword so long as everyone knows America stands ready to pounce. The situation in Syria is heartbreaking and complex. A foreign policy based on painting political figures as simplistic heroes and villains is not mature or even sane. There were lessons to be learned from the Iraq disaster. Saddam Hussein was cast as a villain one year, only to become an ally a few years later, and then as a villain again. Instead of exploring every diplomatic option, the U.S. rushed to war in the name of the Iraqi people who are still devastated years afterward.

War is sometimes necessary, but democracy cannot breathe the rancid air of empire and live for long. If America wants to teach democracy to the world, then we must model it. We must must submit to international law if we wish to call others to it. Nations who consistenly say, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” cannot provide an ethical model for the world. Our world does not consist of heroes and villians, but of the competing interests of our one human species.

 

Yesterday’s vote for “Christian Catfish” award started out close, but as the day wore on, Prophet Cindy Jacobs pulled ahead and eventually left the others in the dust. You will perhaps remember this coveted award goes to the best bottom feeder of the week, The criteria needed to win are a smug and petty viciousness expressed with religious justification. In the end, Prophet Jacobs’ statement that Native Americans and Mexicans need to repent of the demonic influences of their blood line was hard to top. If you didn’t have time yesterday, and you want to get in the aquarium of righteousness and do some real bottom feeding, spend some time with Prophet Cindy Jacobs in the video linked below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/05/cindy-jacobs-native-americans-repent_n_3390601.html