I received a very sad comment on my blog just now. It was from a man who claimed to be gay who said my work on GLBT issues proved I was gay. He said had proof he would release if I didn’t come out.
I’m very lucky to be at a church that would just shrug if it discovered I were gay, but I was sad for someone who thought that the only reason straight allies would work for his rights was if they were secretly gay. I am very lucky that if I were gay it would be safe for me to come out. My life wouldn’t change much, but many people are not so lucky.
This is his comment and my response”
(quoting from my blog) ” I soon began to see a correlation between the people obsessed with other people’s sexual behavior, and the people who could not handle their own.”
That’s YOU, my friend. I think you could help all of us…why won’t you? Please, Jim–you know the truth. Please don’t make me prove it. Please. Now is the time for us. You must know that most of us know it by now anyway. Don’t you truly believe there’s nothing to be ashamed of? And you must know that i have the means to prove it. Hello, smart phone. I don’t want to have to be this way but if you won’t come out for us what am I to do?
This is my response:
“I agree there would be nothing to be ashamed if I were gay, the only problem is I’m not. So we both know you’re bluffing on the “evidence.” I’m just sad that you think the only reason a straight person would stand up for you is if he or she had ulterior motives. There are tens of thousands of us straight allies that are working on your behalf. We’re not fixated on your sexuality, we’re fixated on the human rights you’ve been denied. I’ve done a funeral for a gay man beaten to death in a hate crime, I’ve cried with same-gender mothers who lost their children to abusive ex-husbands because of homophobia. I’ve spoken with teenagers considering suicide because they had been made to feel ashamed of who they are. I’ve seen peaceful gay activist beaten by the Houston police. If that doesn’t move one to activism, nothing would.
I could care less if your enemies think I’m gay, but it makes me sad to think how alone you must feel believing that you have no friends outside of the GLBT community. We are legion”