Why God Chose the Ravens over the 49ers
By Jim Rigby, Football Theologian
“If God is on your side, it doesn’t matter who is against you!” Ray Lewis, after winning the Super Bowl.
As a football theologian, one of the most important questions I am asked is how God picks the winner of the Super Bowl. For example, in yesterday’s game, even laypeople were able to pick out Ray Lewis’ dance to Jesus before the game on the Raven’s side, and the 49er kicker crossing himself before each kick. It was obvious that God would have to make a choice between those two faiths.
Many Godless pagans might ask, why God would intervene in a football game on Ray Lewis’s behalf, but not to save the lives of the two men killed in a double homicide to which Ray Lewis pleaded guilty. The question I would ask in return is, “Did those two men give glory to God by sewing the words “Psalm 91” to their jerseys?” Well Ray Lewis did.
God’s hand in the game may have seemed faint to the uneducated eye, but I saw His precious fingerprints throughout. Early in the game, God blocked a 49er field goal, but a penalty moved the ball in nearer and even the Almighty was unable to prevent the score at that closer range. Still, God’s glory was clearly manifest in keeping the referees from seeing the constant holding and cheap shots of the Raven’s players.
Lonnie Jackson, 62, who was diagnosed with a fatal condition during yesterday’s Super Bowl, said he understood how God needed to focus on the game and not be distracted by things like disease and war.
This Super Bowl was an important revelation of God’s mighty power, which was timely since even God’s omnipotent power could not keep Tim Tebow on the field this year. Our weary nation needed a Jeremiah with black stripes under his eyes who could point to the sky after every extra point. It could not be a sissy field goal kicker, so God chose the Baltimore Ravens as the Gideons of our day. Indeed, as Ray Lewis prophesied, “If God is on your side, it doesn’t matter who is against you!” “Alleluja!” and “Booyah!” have never been so closely connected. I am not ashamed to say that, there alone in my apartment, I lifted my pom poms in praise, tears dripping into my Bud Lite.
At halftime, Beyoncé performed pelvic thrusts and I believe sang a song as well.
Best pastor ever.
Thanks John. If they ever have that contest, I call for a reference letter.
I was watching with some friends, none of whom are Christians. As the field goal kicker crossed himself, she screamed “What the f**K, do you think God has nothing better to do that watch you kick?” Which made me howl with laughter. We sure do make our prayers look silly to outsiders.
It’s especially embarrassing when God misses the field goal.
Actually, it was the Ravens’ kicker who crossed himself before every kick. The comparison you wanted was Kaepernick kissing his bicep after a good play “to show his faith.”
That Ravens’ kicker was really a little skinny guy. I think he was crossing himself in case he was about to die.
Oops. I guess my mind made that up for comedic purposes.
Then, also, among the signs and wonders there was the power outage. Perhaps God, in God’s infinite ability to do two things at once, was saying: “I need a break from all the antics on the field that drag me into this game and play fast and loose with the good name of Jesus, lest, in my impatience, I begin smiting people all over the place! While I’m at it, though, perhaps I can bring attention to the pitiful state of our infrastructure and the sad situation of our electrical grid! Verily!!”
Preach it Rev. Hathaway.
Maybe all the pyrotechnics during the half-time pole dancers’ show inspired the auto de fe?
You all are bring up things I didn’t think about. Good stuff.
And did you notice that God Was Not Mocked when the kicker crossed himself and then tried to execute a fake field goal?
Did not think of that, good catch.
As someone else reported before, I laughed so hard my tears ran down my leg.
Just FYI, Ray Lewis did not plead guilty to homicide. He plead guilty to obstruction of justice.
But I do “get” the sarcasm.
That’s an important point Darrell, thank you for pointing it out.
OMG Jim. You said it so well, as only a preacher could. Peace. Mary and Tricia