“Hang out with Jesus, he hung out for you.”

“Many people planning to repent on the 11th hour, die at 10:30.”

“If your faith is big enough facts don’t count.”

“If man (sic) evolved from monkeys why are there still monkeys?”

“Who’s your daddy?”

“Judas left early, too.”

“Is touching yourself worth an eternity in Hell?”

“Gods love is unconditional as long as you are obeying Christ.”

“Pastors feed and lead, members swallow and follow.”

“The Easter bunny didn’t rise from the dead.”

“If babies had guns they wouldn’t be aborted.”

“God bless our troops especially our snipers.”

“Reason is the greatest threat faith has.”

“Who needs healthcare when you have Jesus?”

“Drop and role doesn’t work in hell.”